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Friday, 30 December 2011

Off Our Heads.....

Reason does not always control what I do, the demon beckons and I follow.

He called last night, same woman there as before, from same profession as me. It was 3.30 am she was rattling again, asked could I help. I said at first no it be difficult that time of night.....but then thought of someone I could try for some pills. Although they weren't quite enough they were enough to make her feel better, so I got a taxi to his.

He was off his nut as usual, put a bottle of amyl nitrates under my nose to sniff and they were strong. I nearly fell over and he caught me. Went to bedroom and got on ok with the woman, surprisingly. Seemed he put her up cos she had nowhere to go, she wants out of sex trade too but is taking each day as comes, pretty much as I am. With amyl nitrates we just ended up in stitches, and he spoke about his greatest pleasures, sex and drugs. Then came out the coke.

Nobody knew before that I can swing both ways, they do now. He wanted to watch, it was his idea. He'd had too much to perform fully but men have hands so we all had a good time. Went with her down to the steam room we wanted him to join but he was too wrecked by then so we went and chatted. She'd been there 10 days, longest I had was roughly a fortnight, followed by four a week later. Seems I got threw out because I failed to clean his whole place and also wasn't very willing to have him have other hookers round while I was there, but on my last day I came round to idea as fantasy. He made it real ok. This woman not only cleaned his place but didn't mind him having several other women there either. Never thought I would meet more of a martyr than myself, maybe that's why we clicked. Don't know how he felt about us making friends, he probably expected the jealousy that happened last time when he invited someone round with me there, we did not get along and nothing took place, she left pretty pissed off. Maybe that's why I've gone down on the list, but she says he does not have a bad word to say about me and thinks the world of me, after I asked if she knew about him throwing me out those times and she did. I feel a bit bad for slating him but I was upset. Perhaps in his own way he does think the world of me (or us), but men with coke fuelled egos can be selfish and thoughtless, as I well know. Take or leave, that's the way it is. We both told him jokingly he was an animal, a monster who was corrupting us and he laughed and said we were the corrupters.

As she had nowhere to stay and seemed to be top of the list now I had to go and I think she wanted me to, I don't blame her was I her I would want me to go. He told me was he not so wrecked I could stay but maybe the two of us would grate on him after a while. Truly think he does not intend to hurt anyone but men don't think like women, especially after a bit too much. Oh well. Don't know if I am a loon but I sure aint the only one. I should have cleaned the house and not taken his pills that time without asking, and been less possessive as the man can't be faithful. Lol xx

Oh, and forget how many grams last night.


  1. No you would be a loon if you felt like you actually belonged there.

  2. Scary thing is there are times when I have felt that way. Don't blame that woman for keeping her options open.....only a matter of time before she does something wrong, as I did xx

  3. I made the mistake of refusing to clear 'all' the mess that wasn't mine, the taking of pills (though I had given him plenty) and the way I made it obvious I wouldn't like it if he brought other hookers over with me there. Three of them showed up, one on her own who I did not get on with, another two only to pick up a few items they had left there. Did not perturb me as was getting to know what he was like, but anything happening in my face would have got to me and he knew. I also tend to question him at times, although he 'likes my intelligence' he finds me opinionated and argumentative at times for not always agreeing...hence gotta learn to 'keep my mouth shut' So it seems were my defects. Told him he was impossible and he asked why do I think he is single. There we have it x

  4. Darling.. you have this all fucked up.. you are intelligent, interesting, beautiful.. he is a vile, messed-up misogynist with shit for brains. Don't bend to their perverted will, rise above it. A girl with looks and brains shouldn't be cleaning and biting her tongue. I love reading about your life but sometimes I wanna shake you! :P xx