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Friday, 21 October 2011

Desperate Housewives...And Other Sex Workers!

During my time I have come across a few women working in brothels, all of whom were obviously, as one poster on this blog put it, as willing as I am to ‘have sex for dollar’.

And guess what? Most of them did not have any problem with substance abuse. I have never liked the brothel scene myself, but this mainly stems from the fact that I prefer working alone, I dislike the atmosphere and the fact I was not allowed to set my own prices, along with having to pay the management an extortionate amount of commission to use the premises, which is essentially no different from working for a pimp. Besides which, on a slow day you could be sitting around all day and few people would show up, so you could go home feeling you have wasted your time.

But I am diverting…..many the woman I found working there were not drug addicts but rather bored housewives, seeking a bit of pocket money behind the backs of their husbands, who thought they were doing some kind of a regular part time job. There were a few single mothers simply trying to make ends meet, but there were all kinds of reasons why the women I met were doing that job. There was one former civil servant who having fallen prey to chronic fatigue syndrome found she could no longer hold down a full time job, but simply did not wish to live in poverty struggling on benefits. She was divorced and her only son was a grown adult…. The only drug she ever took was cannabis, so the classic reasons women are thought to turn to prostitution….a drug habit, a pimp, single parenthood….only applied to a minority of women I met in brothels, and it probably would apply to a lot of the Independents you find advertising on the internet as well.

To clear up any misconceptions about myself, I have always got by one way or another. I have various problems, including an anxiety condition and Attention Deficiency Disorder that have made it very difficult for me to hold down a regular job, and these problems have also thwarted my attempts to complete a degree. So even had I not had a cocaine habit you would likely still find me earning a living in the sex industry in some form or other from time to time, for the pure and simple fact I can’t tolerate either a monotonous 9 to 5 job in a supermarket or the misery of scraping together attempting to live on State Benefits. I have heard the refrain too many times that ‘other people do it…..’, well, I am not other people. Too bad. I don’t ask anyone to approve of what I do, just to accept that it is my choice, my body, my life. I practise my work safely and put nobody at risk, if anyone is taking a risk I am by letting myself be alone with strangers.

What annoys me most of all is the attitude taken by some men, even some tricks. They have the nerve to look down on me, express disapproval by telling me I am ‘degrading myself’, then have the hypocrisy to pay to shag me. Other men have expressed the same attitude towards me, then later admit that they themselves have paid for sex and would do again. Please don’t misunderstand me and think I have never come across judgemental women, but the most vociferous condemnation has tended to come from men. That shows more of a nerve as they are less likely to understand. I have been called all kinds of names and given all kinds of unwanted lectures, often by strangers who have the anonymity of a computer screen to hide behind. I have received no such posts on this blog, but on other forums. Probably because a lot of readers may be non judgemental if they show an interest in reading this in the first place, and secondly because it is my space anyway, anything I don’t like can always be moderated.

But as it happens only a minority of what I earn is spent on drugs these days, besides which everyone has their way of relaxing so what I do spend my money on is really nobody’s business but mine anyway. I could have other expensive pastimes if I so chose.

Some women I came across in that industry simply liked the buzz of earning from it, and although they do not make up a majority in that profession there are some that exist who do what they do for the simple fact they enjoy it. Be they sexually deviant or not, it is not for me to judge them any more than it is for them to do so with me. If women want to work in brothels or any other areas of the sex industry for no other reason than they are bored housewives or wish to sexually experiment good luck to them and let them get on with it. It is not my place or anyone else’s to judge. I would not do it if financial necessity due to my various problems (addictive tendencies being only one) did not compel me, but that is just me. Everyone has their reasons for living how they do, at the end of the day we are what we are.


  1. Some of the strip clubs in my city are modern day brothels. The dancers are the same full range you would find in the brothel you described. Some ARE on drugs, some have a pimp others set their boundaries and like making the money they do.

    I never ask them if they hate what they do. I never partake of those services inside the club (it is just not for me). I have been with professionally and/or dated some of them though.

    Most of them that do talk about it do get tired of it or burnt out. One who quit told me she didn't feel good about herself anymore. That is when it is time to quit.

    I always tell girls, don't change your boundaries because you get drunk one night or because you really need the money. You will start disliking yourself.

    I tend to believe you should judge the person for who they are, not what they do.

  2. I agree, Bathwater. I had a habit and a pimp with a habit I supported. I keep my work down to a level now that prevents me from disliking myself, I keep it to the minimum. But I was getting burnt out at the beginning of this boyfriend/pimp did not force me out as he had his own money he did not tell me the source of. But I felt like shit. Towards the end of that month he nearly beat me to death in an alcohol and crack fuelled rage. My self doubt at times stems from the fact I let him control me, and scarier still I still have feelings for him as he could me the nicest man in the world when he wished x