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Thursday, 4 August 2011

Hard Times

I am sick of this....I could not face going on the street tonight to try to get any money, but had a friend not helped me I would have had no choice. I am sick of street prostitution, it is degrading especially when I have no suitable place to take them, not being allowed guests in my room. I suppose I could do the internet if I pulled myself together and advertise for 'outcalls only' but I cannot even bring myself to go to the sites...they somehow sicken me. A friend of mine said she will have a room soon and will do a profile for me..I hope she does that cos I cannot be arsed, my motivation is zero, but I am sick of being in this state. I have never before lived in sheltered accomodation, I am officially certified as being mad....but as the idiot authorities in this district deem my problems as being drug induced and hence self inflicted I must battle most of it alone..that means no CPN, social worker etc as the support worker in my accomodation is expected to deal with all my needs, despite the fact she is only part time and has so many other people to deal with. But to be fair, out of all the professionals that have worked with me the last six months she has been the most pleasant and I actually like her, she actually does this job for the right reasons. This house is also the most benevolent. I don't feel like I am living in a minature version of Soviet Russia, which is an improvement. People say I should put the past behind me, but how can I when it's consequences are with me every day?

7 comments:

  1. like this sentences >>> "but how can I when it's consequences are with me every day? " although we are facing different kind of situation here...

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  2. Hey there. Long time reader of your blog. Drop me a line (via my Blogger profile) - am wondering if I can help out...?

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  3. I am so sorry you're going through an especially hard time. I've been reading your blog for a while now, and I'm a fan of your writing. I'm a blogger as well, and I was recently offered a paid video blogging gig. I can hook you up with that if that might be something you're interested. Feel free to contact me through my website for more information: loriadorable.wordpress.com

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  4. Hi Snow queen,
    I've been following your blog on and off for a year and a half now. I think you seem like a very intelligent and sensitive person, and I'm sorry your life seems difficult at the moment. Sending good vibes through cyberspace ...
    XXX,V

    http://howbabieshouldntbemade.tumblr.com/

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  5. Sending out a prayer for you, girl. I hope you're okay. Hang in there

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  6. Thanks for your support everyone, and I will contact the writers who offered some help.

    This place has become harder to tolerate due to the residents here, but am feeling stronger in myself, more determined. I have been stitched up by my former landlords but will blog about it in a later post.

    I know it's been a while but a lot has been going on and ran out of credit for a while anyway. Will say what's been happening in next post...

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  7. One of my landlords once had been pushing me to pay the deposit and when I left he didn't return back my money. It really pissed me off then. Just thankful I didn't do something I regret. Some landlords are sometimes just greedy. Anyhow take it eazy

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