I shouldn't have done...but I looked on his. More tears flow as I noticed he still keeps the pics of the women he describes as shallow sluts, trophy wives etc and deleted mine, and his new pic is posing in a new suit for his new sales job I guess.
There is also a pic of Stonehenge...when will I see the sunrise? When will my tears ever end? I think I may be heading for a breakdown....all the drugs do now are numbing my pain. I want to be the person I was two years ago but she is getting further away, and thinking about her makes me cry more. But then I haven't been able to cry for ages so maybe I need it.....
The more I see the more I just want to bury my head in my pillow and cry myself to sleep......why, God, why? Did the fact I liked a bit of sniff mean you had to bring that man to me only to break my heart in pieces, for no benefit but maybe for him to enjoy the ego buzz?
I can take no more. I normally talk about my problems, I have bottled them up for months. The pain I feel now is the result. He has money, he don't need me, the man who once said 'no matter what we always have each other'. I know it is a bore but never have I hurt like this, never have I broke my heart over someone before like this and I am in my late 30s not a teenager. Please God take my pain away without the endless need for drugs to do the job.
Please don't let me drive myself to an early grave mourning for someone who does not care shit for me.
4 years ago