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Thursday, 22 April 2010

Levels....

Just read Shane's post (memoires of a heroin head) on shooting...brought something to mind...a friend of mine who I can no longer be around complained to me one night her boyfriend was going to die due to fear of sores in his leg (no veins left in the arm) going gangrenous, he was feverish she said she feared he might have to have a limb amputated....I said call an ambulance then or should I? She said he was sleeping and did not want to wake him etc.....for the sake of losing a leg?

It is not the drug, but some people inclined that why take the spiral to it's lowest levels and it gets sick...for lack of a better target once (bear in mind this woman is covered in sores in her legs from damaged veins but still shoots despite DVT) she asked why do I sell sex, I said seeing as she is a heroin addict she should know...she said she would rather cold turkey than do that....ok somebody suggested I do that, let her turkey then someone put a bag of smack plus money in front of her...I am not so convinced save for her mode of operation, her who latches onto men with habits, her man has sold smack for years, she went to jail for conspiracy with him (a risk I have taken too before). What rocked my boat was whe she said she knows I like men who have drugs....I said come on, hasn't every man she has been out with done drugs? We had a mutual fling with a smackhead who sold that shit years ago...so what was her point? She said she 'always pays her way'....to which at that point I fumed, me who used to lend her cash for her next fix when she begged me..I said don't you dare think I am getting a habit supported for nothing, why was I on the strip that night and why was I skint? Why else than to fund my own stupid coke habit...the simple reason I was going out with a cokehead did not mean it was all free...unlike their stuff. It is only lately he has got so pissed off with her greed he gives tea in an injection...and she is so far gone the placebo effect works. His stuff, his money, he who confesses himself he no longer cares for anything but heroin...give something fake more than yourself. I've had coke that must have been mostly benzocaine, gives a feeling of numbness without the high, mixed with other uppers, and only 2% cocaine. The strong shit I did earlier....not totally pure but good for this area...soneone said they paid £150 a gram, got to be good, I paid a hundred for some better quality stuff which has since been bashed and now sold at 50.If 20 to 40 percent is low...try two percent which I've seen a lot of people accept without complain. I know a guys sold stuff totally bash....his customers returned anyway. He laughed at them.
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Heroin is bashed with all kinds...but injecting god knows what....now wonder. Tea is relatively harmess. But I known one fact them with the bad legs...I don't think they'd care much of I said my nose was falling off (and it is a bad state at present). They woukd just say it is self inflicted,.....like the condition of their legs? Cocaine and heroion addicts often clash....because the mentalities are far apart.....one is a strong upeer that is social....another is a downer that is for people who wish to retreat more often. Having been oh heroin I know, I have gone through difference phases , but the smack phase was when I wanted to withdraw. It teatwas not truly me. I need compang, people's time etc. Coke is better for that....wny sniffing alone is different from company and at times ends in tears when u comedown......

The thing is, I know I am not an all out heroin fiend, whereas they are, so on some levels I cannot relate....downers people are different from uppers people. Uppers people use downers to chill when the comedown begins, downers people use downers for their own buzz and only might do uppers to keep them awake to enjoy their own buzz, but one is for the sake of the other. I have rarely head people who mix say they enjoy and like both in equal amonts...

2 comments:

  1. I'm not quite dependent on anything, but my drug of choice, when I'm having a day of decadence, is opiates. I've never done the mighty H, out of fear for asking the people to get it for me will make them angry with me, and out of fear that I will just fall in love with it. Coke's great for social situations. On the other hand..there's fucking speed, which a few of my best friends LOVE, but I can't stand. I'll do it when they do it, just so I won't have to put up with them being on the shit while I'm sober. Opiates are for people that don't know how to correctly or healthily deal with pain...be that pain of ANY kind, whereas cocaine I believe is for the lonely in that it makes one lovable, confident, and want to give love...but that speed, man...I've seen people get completely strung out ALONE, if they ask for company, they neglect it by annoyingly obsessing over trivial things, like, fixing shit that isn't broken until it's broken, tying their shoes, cleaning, or going off on nonsensical rants where they don't allow anyone else to get in a word edgewise. What do you think of speedheads? Do you think they fall ino the same category as cokeheads? I was just curious as to what you thought about this...I like your input...

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  2. I've met a few speedheads, it isn't a scene I've really been into so can't say much about the differences (as there obviously are, different drug) and similiarities......obviously people on coke can get strung out alone, and can go into rants when in company, which often are all about themselves...it can often bring insecurities to the surface, which can be covered by the person, or attempted to be covered, by saying how great they are etc.

    I don't like amphetamines either, hence why I don't say much about speedheads, I just noticed with the few I have met how strung out they are, nervy etc on edge

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