I gotta be quick here...but just an update to say I am alive and well....I patched things with someone. He loves me really I know it, he isn't a liar...it is just a fucked up situation at present. I am exhausted and have let a few things slide...when he did come back he slept for nearly two days at my place. I wish I had the means to binge like that, or at least get my goods to pay for themself...it is this that is getting to me. It is because of this work that I feel things have been hard...but....I say to stop, that I want out...all I wish is that he'd make it easier not harder for me while it must be...everything has gone wrong lately to make that job fuck up and I still have not managed to get down the computer shop, wreck I am. I will try my best to do all that tomorrow....I was actually feeling more positive yesterday as he was in a happier mood, and of course I am an emotional sponge. I can't be long as I am truly exhausted and need some sleep, and sadly I have to earn....again....after getting myself in debt.....sad that a rest and an ok couple of days end with me fretting like this again....so it may be the streets for me again tonight.
Meanwhile I am sick to death of people assuming I am thick, a sex object etc. I normally don't give a fuck but I have been lately, which does not make this shit easy. Please pray someone has time to comfort me while this must last....and pray it does not last....long.
4 years ago