My issues in the last post re Barbie dolls etc are shamefully partly down to hurt at how shallow some men can be......now my man doesn't really like that theiving junkie I mentioned in that post at all....but he admitted he still felt the desire to shag her because she has retained some level of looks, figure etc. Even if a man looked like Brad Pitt/George Clooney whoever, where he a stupid nasty lying thief I would not want to go near him.......least not unless he paid, but then I am a woman, aren't I? Men sometimes don't understand women, they think we can be as sexually shallow as a lot of them are....
Now I am not saying all men are like this, would shag anything with big boobs and a pretty face.....but a lot will, a lot think with their pricks. I have been treated ill in many ways as I have let myself be....if we lived in an equal free society where men respected women and there was no misogyny it would not be like this, but it is like this and is unlikely to change. There are things I have done and won't do again...such as sleeping with men who despise me, deny ever having been near 'it' or that 'filthy coke whore' when it was all pretty much fun for them at the time. Not go near 'it' even if 'it' paid them - like I'd pay a bunch of fucked up cokeheads who aren't much on looks in the first place for the privelige? Dream on.
And by the way Jason, please cut out your paranoia. I phoned you last night to tell you I'd managed to earn something and would help you out if need be........and in return you accuse me of giving my money to other men, along with shagging them? How could you dream I would do such a thing, have I not shown you enough? What does it take? I know you have troubles (like I haven't) and my patience has been limitless - have some faith in me. I told you I'd slept most of the day, you asked me 'who with' - when we agreed only last night to cut these games out. You wanna be casual, shag who you want......I can't interrogate you so please don't do to me, you know full well I have no desire to go with other men unless they pay me, and when they do you know about it. You can't have it both ways - no commitment on your side, then please don't play these games, please, please. I told you how much money I had, I was in no trouble, please don't be like that with me, think of all the times you have been stressed and I've calmed you.....but I have to deal with my own stress, don't I? Bad enough things are one sided as they are......but don't make it worse for me than it is. I was truly happy the last few days as I thought you'd gone forever and you were back......I would not take this if I didn't love you and you know that.
I don't know if you will read this or not, but if you do, then.......just remember xxxx
4 years ago