Last year I went to a support centre (typically run by the middle classes) for domestic violence victims. However, what mattered to them more was not the fact I was being terrorised by the man I was with at the time - but the fact I admitted to using cocaine once a fortnight (which was in all truth all I was using then). I was not allowed to attend their drama therapy groups because of this - due to the fact it was being co run by an addiction charity and had people on 12 step abstinence programs there. As if the very presence of a recreational user (which was what I was then) would corrupt these poor souls (who, surprise, were mostly male as the woman in charge admitted - so much for their burning desire to 'help' abused women!). Like I was going to take out a bag of coke at the end of each session and lead these people on the road to hell.
The bitch who interviewed me thrusted at me the number of 'cocaine anonymous', unsolicited. I flung it straight back at her, said I was not an addict (which I was not then, sniffing once a fortnight is hardly addiction, and I bet the stupid bitch herself was not averse to the occasional social drink) and I had objections to the 12 step groups. After attending a few of their meetings several years back I had two men attempt to sexually assault me and one succeed in actual abuse. I am not the first or the last - I shall go into more details later, but the thing itself is known among the inner circles of this vile cult as '13th stepping'. My readers will soon learn about the scam the whole so called 'treatment' industry is - religious snake oil and cultism posing as therapy, in which you have to surrender to a 'higher power' (i.e God) in order to quit drink or drugs - cos without having God substances will kill you, as you have a 'disease' called 'addiction'. A 'disease' which there is zero medical evidence of it's existence. I know why I take too many drugs - there are many reasons, compulsive behaviour being one, but it is not because I have some 'disease' that does not exist apart from in the minds of quacks, quacks who are funded by the State. I shall go into more detail later about how all the treatment industry ties in with the prohibiton racket - but in the meantime here is a great site I suggest your check out - http://www.orange-papers.org
The fact these snakes/charlatans have wormed their way into the battered wives movement is all the more despicable of them. Great chance for fucked up, predatory men to prey on vulnerable women. Not saying that all men who abuse substances are abusers - but more a case of abusive men being prone to substance abuse due to their underlying issues, and the 12 step ideology is perfect for men who are so used to denying responsibility for their actions. Eg....I didn't mean to beat my wife, it was the drink/drugs that made me do it. 12 step ideology tells these men that they are 'powerless' over their compulsion to drink or use.....so it follows that if they are powerless over that they are bound to be 'powerless' over their need to abuse women.
The middle class women who ran that charity had no idea.......and not only this they started prying into my financial circumstances, asking how could I afford to sniff coke etc (despite it was only then once a fortnight). It was none of their business, and I went there for help with an abusive relationship, not cocaine use. A woman asked if I needed help with budgeting my finances, like sure, someone like myself must be unable to do anything. The poor are stupid, and the fact I admitted to claiming benefit at the time added insult - like, ok, the State grant me so much which 'the law says I need to live on' then have the audacity to tell me how I should spend it! No way, Jose! Again, shove your 'help' where the sun will never shine.
I remember calling a domestic violence helpline some years back (anonymous of course) just because I needed someone to talk to as my then pimp was abusing me) - nothing I said mattered when I admitted to being not only a cocaine addict but a sex worker too. Damn the lot of them to hell. I wanted someone to listen - but all they had to say was 'call the police'. Anyone who knows anything about that world knows that a whore will not grass on a pimp if she values her life.
If anyone is to provide such services it should be people who know something about the subject. Services for sex workers should be run by women in that profession, not by middle class women employed by the same State who employs cops to harrass hookers. Services for drug users should be run by users.....and DV? It should at least be run by women who have had some experience of abusive relationships and are open minded enough to be understanding to women from all walks of life....not just battered housewives. Middle class men who have something to lose may respect the forces of law.....but criminals, drug dealers, pimps etc will not. I've known that for years, so are these people really so sheltered? God knows.
But what I do know is that it is an awful feeling to love someone yet be afraid of him at the same time, be in fear of your life even............I used to wonder why women went back for more from men who do this. Experience in all my years has taught me why. 'Nice', non abusive men never understand - that is why these relationships have more layers than is apparent. Abusive men understand abused women in a way nice men do not.....which keeps the cycle of abuse going. But I wish men would stop thinking I enjoy or like abuse - I do not enjoy it.
4 years ago