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Sunday, 7 February 2010

Weekend... And a Few Thoughts on Porn, Sex etc.

It didn't turn out such a bad weekend.....last night I had a good time with those guys, partied with them and all, first time in a long time, got high, had some great sex and all....cheered me up because apart from what I do for money (which I don't count, it is so cold as to mean nothing....although I don't tell the clients lol) it aint happened much lately. Perhaps somebody thought when I said that his fleeting visits were only upsetting me, and if it was for a simple purpose I'd just sooner deal with his mate...I'm a little more on top.

I earnt a little tonight.....one of the guys paid me in kind rather than in cash and it actually wasn't bad stuff. As it was only a gram I caned it, as I do. Perhaps I could've saved it for when I have company, but hell, if it is there........I knew I'd dip in anyway, and once I start...

I did a little music practice, so something productive as well....perhaps things could possibly look up.

A few thoughts I had on porn.....there is to me nothing inherently wrong in sexual imagery, and face it, I'd be a hypocrite were I to claim to be anti it, judging by my lifestyle. But the way it is made - I know that most of the sound tends to be dubbed, and the sex is not as spontaneous as it is made to seem, directors cut all the time as the camera, lighting must be right....I only get turned on by anything if it is real, and most of that stuff is acting.....I guess it takes one like me to see the difference.

I say that cos those guys put some on the other night....if I see a scenario aimed at a certain type of male sexuality, where women tend to be blatantly used - i.e small women usually, men who are well endowed, one up each hole to be blunt....and the cum in face thing.....I feel in a way disturbed by it but yet the masochistic element of me feels drawn to something about it and liable to play along with it if I am off my nut and the men present are clearly getting off on it....does anyone see where I am coming from? I don't know if it is guilt, repression, whatever. I don't know many men whose sexual tastes are what I'd call totally 'normal' either.....if it is abnormal for women to be masochistically inclined then nor is it normal for men to be dominant, sadistically inclined either....but better if that shit stays in the bedroom than carried over to other sides of any relationship.

Regarding porn it is a narrow and simplistic kind of feminism that claims all porn is all about men oppressing women.....for what of porn produced or written by women (I've written it). What of gay porn? That view is so dumb....and of course it's propoenents can never answer that question or their whole argument would fall down...

Of course the main thing is consent....and some of the problems with porn is that you don't really know how a lot of it is made, who by etc. Maybe there should be a fairtrade thing on it or something. Most guys I know would not watch something if they believed someone was being forced....although some of the stuff I've seen....franky double penetration, especially by well endowed men, would probably hurt me.....so I think, are they high? Cos I know for sure I do things when I'm high that I am never relaxed enough to do otherwise.....or dirty enough for that matter.

But then hey, cocaine use makes men sexual as well, so there should be no double standards. If it makes me into a slut sometimes....same goes for the men who play, the men who make the first move.

Another thing I notice is that most guys seem to get off on imagery of women getting it on, and although I am sure they exist I've never met any women who get off on men doing the same, maybe they are too ashamed to admit it, God knows, because in my view there is no essential difference between the two. There is less known about female sexuality than male sexuality it seems....in some ways it is still a dark continent. Some men imagine women do not masturbate, or at least not so frequently as men do.......

I also don't know why some guys think I do what I do for a living for the fun of it, because I love shagging strangers and that it ever gives me any true release. It doesn't, as I have no connection with those guys....to enjoy anything with anyone there has to be some level of affection, some connection....which maybe is one of the differences between women and men, as it seems men can shag anyone and get release....I cannot, and nor, it seems, can most women. So why can men? Perhaps there is a biological element, maybe the fact their reproductive organs are outside rather than inside plays some part....I've heard all other kinds of theories concerning evolution, sexual selection (ie the fact that one man can impregnate many women.....a woman can only have one child by one man at a time, and that as females generally raise their young they have more to invest in their choice of partner etc).

Most men (or every one I've ever known) will screw a good looking woman even if she is totally stupid, obnoxious and bad company. They will shag someone they actually dislike.....Whereas if I thought a man was stupid, nasty and no fun to be with his looks would not matter, I would not fancy him and he would not turn me on physically or otherwise. This does not make men shallow, just different....any comments will be welcome, on this or on the porn issue.

5 comments:

  1. Good, well thought out commentary you have going there and I agree in so many ways. A friend of mine a few years ago was doing the same thing as you are and I was her 'minder' in a sense. I would wait in the car while she and her girlfriend did their show, and make sure nothing untoward happened. Nothing really did, but the comment they would get from some of the men were similar to yours, the 'wow you must be a sex maniac', which was untrue. They 'provided a service' to these men, and 'fucked' their real life partners.
    On your last comment though, maybe I'm a loner (and maybe that's why I'm single lol) but I can't fuck anything that moves. I know the type your talking about oh so well though lol. I'm similar in many ways to you, I get turned on by brains and company. Yes, men are more visual creatures and my eyes pop out of my head sometimes in summer and fantasies do erupt, but when push cums to shove I'd rather be doing the funky stuff with someone who is not a monosyllabic dolly-bird lol.
    Glad your weekend was a fun-filled adventure...

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  2. I can't shag anyone. Making out dressed is nice. I reread an 18 year old note from a maiden, and it shot me right in the heart. The was back story in this post I made about it. There were two facts and one circumstance he had been told about Laurel, and it made no difference to him that evening. He had seen her struggling on New Year's Eve. On the verge of tears. Choking them back.

    I think you write well. As for smile duck smile, I saw in Heavy Metal Magazine in the late 70's/80 a black and white line cartoon.

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  3. Very good post, Cocaine Girl. Speaking for myself as a prostitute, when I have sex with customers, it's just business; however, the men I have sex with in my personal life turn me on tremendously. In fact, I've noticed the sex I have with men in my personal life has become more intense, since I need an emotional outlet after all the impersonal, business-related sex I do. As for pornography, it has become too slick, very artificial and clichéd, and I also find it to be very harsh. I prefer erotica, as it appeals to the erotic and sexual aspect of love.

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  4. On your last note; whilst its easy to frown upon men who'll screw any woman, its that bull characteristic; charging at the hint of blood/a red flag that any man would hate to lose. I certainly wouldn't want to lose that. Yet I find myself agreeing with you and Dan. But what's stupid, obnoxious, bad coy to u isn't to those men. What turns off a man is so simple; bad hygeine, attitude i.e. interested in someone or something else, and in a few cases retarded expressions. Although an elegant woman is the peak of a mans desires its too easy to go lower, much lower. Your view on those women's standards are not the same as the man's view. I guess another difference in genders, maybe

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