Good advice.....never let someone take you for granted and become complacent with you giving them what they want. Many men only want what they cannot have, or think they can never have. Keep something of yourself back....or you'll end feeling like I do. He held back...which enabled him to walk away when he decided seeing me was no longer in his interests. I don't hold back....and it is hard, if not impossible, to walk away.
I had a good enough weekend without him. , despite his promises to at least bother seeing me on my birthday. I should think myself better without him, the way he has treated me and all. But this doesn't mean it does not hurt, it hurts like hell, to be frank. I don't know how I can possibly not take drugs everyday simply to cope with getting through another day.....as everything looks so bleak. I wish I could find someone else I felt the same about....I could as I am not unnattractive. But never can I do this while there is still 'rain on my face'.
Spring is coming soon and how I wish there was someone to see it in with me....rather than just my miserable self. Perhaps I feel this way partly because I'm on a comedown....but hell, when my heart aint broken I don't get it this bad, nothing looks this black.
I have the occassional comfort, if I am in need of affection male friends could stay over, cuddle up without demanding sex (which I don't want right now lest it is for money) but it is not the same as having someone to come home to....or coming home. Who knows what the future will bring? Perhaps in three weeks time he will miss me, perhaps I might have moved on by then.....but it is unlikely.