Will there ever be a happy ending to this? Will I ever achieve any sense of equilibrium, and will the other people I write of here find it with me? I wish I knew for sure......but in a life like this you can never be sure. Perhaps when our finances are not so dire we can take a step back from our problems, that is if we don't fuck up again by sniffing what is not really ours to use......but then it is up to him, he's done that without my help before. We don't want abstinence just to go back to how we have been before.....stop relying on this as a crutch. God, we survived for seven days with nothing, although it was hard. Maybe taking a break like that means we can use less in future. But taking a step back makes this look so pathetic, and that leads to disliking yourself so the best way is to numb your pain through getting high....a vicious circle, destructive spiral that should be broken.